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    September 17

    小朋友翻译的诗(杭外版)

    杭外初三班级翻译的版本。相比较而言,显得深沉些,遣词用句也比较讲究。不过我还是最爱那个“落雨偶饰我,爱露洁如钻”。
    原诗:
    The raindrops decorate me once in a while.
    My favorite relics, diamond clean.
    Heaven repels me, for my share in its eternity.
    I will decay and rise again, like a small Jesus.
     
    学生作品:
    1.
    使我初绽的是那淅淅沥沥的雨滴
    弥留的挚爱,如钻石般纯净
    我想拥抱与天堂共生的不朽,却被拒之千里
    而我——定会在沉湎后觉醒
    如同耶和华再生的奇迹
    2.
    霎那的,雨珠打湿我愈美的脸庞
    留下我最珍贵的,钻石般纯净的幻象
    愈远愈远的天堂
    带走了完美的永恒
    却丢下了我
    愈深愈深的枯败
    预示新的苏醒
    像耶稣获得的救赎
    3.
    我曾一次次偷偷用上帝的落泪为饰品
    我最爱的遗物呀,如钻石般纯净
    天堂拒绝,我窃享过它永恒的亡灵
    我将腐烂并再次升起,像一株小小的圣灵
    4.
    雨丝时常在我身上留下灿烂的水痕
    我最爱的那一颗雨露如澄澈的钻石般透明
    天堂因为我分享了它的荣光而永远关上了大门
    于是我如神般死而复生
    5.
    淅沥的雨滴一次次洗礼,渴求的我
    钻石般璀璨的,是我最爱的雨珠,逝过
    神圣拒绝我,因为我是光芒的一部分
    我终将腐朽成尸骨,又重新凝聚、永恒……
    6.
    出尘晶莹的雨珠不经意间洒落在我身上
    成了我最珍贵的点缀
    天堂的门紧闭,害怕我与它分享时光的永恒
    我会在苦难中重生,成为西方耀眼的星点
    7.
    雨滴一次次落满我身
    我最爱的来自天空的馈赠 如钻石纯净
    天堂拒我于门外 因我享有了它光辉的永恒
    我将在残败中再次绽放 就像是小小的神的使者
     

    Comments (4)

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    shenwrote:
    借小朋友的诗,祝coco新婚快乐,白头偕老:)
    Oct. 25
    junjun wanwrote:
    能把英文整成我看不懂的中文,比较强。。
    Sept. 18
    嗯,我觉得比英特的好。最大的一点在于decay那个词儿,不知道为什么我对 “腐烂”这个译法特别不舒服,偏巧英特的大部分都译成这个。这边 就译得精彩得多。
    Sept. 17
    penny panwrote:
    文字比英特的华丽,不过风格倒不如英特的来得多样,而且居然没有太惊喜的
    Sept. 17

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